Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Your cock deserves a montage
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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