If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize