this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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