There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
