yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
