Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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