i barfeds in our rink
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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