Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that's an acceptable place to lick
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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