I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
