ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
