Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
