I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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