I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
