You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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