hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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