She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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