i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
