that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
