you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
