If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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