Don't make out with my wife yet
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He passed out mid-signature
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
