Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize