dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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