shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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