Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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