yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
