Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
