KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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