Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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