Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
