Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
