Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He uses pillows to masturbate.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
