He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
