i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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