i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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