what day is it and did you see me today?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
