After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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