Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We have so much sex to catch up on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
