Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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