Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
