In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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