have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize