I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
