Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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