that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
