That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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