I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
