How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and she was petting her beer can
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize