Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
