She is in my trunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
