porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
