Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
