Is it because I queefed?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
