check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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