its not stalking. its research.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
