ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize