ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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