I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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