in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
