thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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