Nicole vs. Life
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
