the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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