Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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